Seeking help from a professional for the most intimate and important relationship in your life can be scary. Especially if you haven’t done therapy before. We know that couples have typically been in distress for about 6 years before they seek help, and often as a last resort. Don’t despair! Even if you’re losing hope, the right kind of couples therapy can often turn things around.
Read MoreThis is such a scary question. And if you’re asking it, it means you’ve probably been focused on trying to shift your relationship into a more positive track for quite a while. In fact, research shows that couples are usually in distress for at least 6 years before they seek professional help. That’s a long time.
Read MoreLast week one of my clients said, “I don’t even know any happy couples” and it made me reflect on all the couples I know. I wondered who would I say is “happiest” and why? As I thought of this it brought to mind research on relationships which often mirrors what we know about “happy” people.
Read MoreConflict is normal. Two of nature’s entities are pushing against each other as each tries to follow its own trajectory. If conflict is to be expected, how can you tell if your relationship has crossed a boundary and left the territory of what’s “normal” and entered into the “troubled” zone? What are the signs that your relationship needs help?
Read MoreIf you’ve fallen into a bad phase in your relationship, it can be very hard to ask for help. Seeking couple therapy takes courage and persistence, and a willingness to allow a stranger to see your personal life exposed, at a time when you’re likely feeling at your most vulnerable.
Read MoreMany couples who come in for help say they’re worried they’re not compatible with each other, and that their relationship is therefore doomed. No matter how much time, money, and effort they apply towards trying to improve their connection, they tell me, they’re convinced they will never climb from a “C+” to an “A+” relationship since they believe their differences are too great to overcome.
Read MoreMany of the couples I see in my office are married, with dual incomes and one or more children. The majority of them are overwhelmed by their work and parenting demands, sometimes to the point of hopelessness. Theirs may be a first-world problem, but it’s the reality for many American couples today.
Read MoreAt NECCF, my two colleagues and I, combined, see about 75 couples every week. We’ve each been in practice for many years -- a sum total of more than six decades -- and by now have been asked into the private lives of hundreds of married and non-married relationships.
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